Good beams and support needed

heartheart San Francisco, CACharter Member
edited April 2013 in General Discussion
Dear Everyone,

This is sort of the opposite of a cheering section. My partner broke up with me last night. It has been a horrifically sad experience and I have been shaking and barfing all night. He is supposed to be on my boat crew two weeks from now at Tampa. He still wants to come with me (the breakup is not because of lack of love - we're long distance partners and he can't take the travel and expense anymore.) I don't even know if I can get through so many hours in the water being in my head two weeks from now. Any words of support, encouragement, and kindness will be very welcome.


  • With all the swimming you've done, you clearly have the ability to be completely in your swim. You WILL be great, and there will be a lot of great people in Tampa and on this board pulling for you!
    Looking forward to meeting you.
  • molly1205molly1205 Lincoln, NebraskaSenior Member
    I'm so sorry @heart. Is there someone else who could replace him on your support team? I bet there are volunteers in Tampa who would be delighted to help you on your swim. Marathon swimming is all about getting through the distance no matter what obstacles get in your way. I'm sorry this break-up has to be one of those unanticipated challenges. Head down and keep swimming. You can do this! And what a great way to celebrate YOU!

    Molly Nance, Lincoln, Nebraska

  • evmoevmo SydneyAdmin
    I've been there (4 days before MIMS 2011).

    My best advice is: You must keep swimming. Every day, just do it. In the water, you will find peace.

    Keep up your routine. Try to get proper sleep (I like melatonin).

    Tampa is an incredibly fun event, and you have much to look forward to!
  • oxooxo Guest
    I'm so sorry @heart, good beams are enroute
  • ChickenOSeaChickenOSea Charter Member
    Sorry to hear it!
    I'd say give it a go. I got a divorce 10 days before my Catalina attempt in '11 and I still tried. Didn't have it on the night but it could have gone either way.
    Any swimming is good!!!!!!!
    Hope you're ok
  • ssthomasssthomas DenverCharter Mem​ber
    I've been there, too. I've found that training and doing what you love takes your mind off of the nasty and gives you the motivation to get your butt moving toward being happy again.

    Don't let him on the boat, it would only be distracting! Way too much is hard about a marathon swim, without adding emotional distress, too. I'd ask Ron if he knows anyone who would be willing to help you out on the crewing end. I bet he knows a few people who wouldn't mind chucking bottles of stuff at you for a few hours.

    Hang in there!
  • Add me to the list of people saying swim, swim, swim. When life hands you lemons, double down and swim more. Swimming soothes the soul better than anything else! Don't skip a day.
    My other go to when its all bad (don't laugh); milk and cookies, especially Thin Mint Girl Scout Cookies. Heaven!!
    All will be good in Tampa. The water is warm and Ron and his whole crew of friends that run it are great, really nice people. It's going to be a totally cool adventure!
  • JanetJanet New York, NYMember
    Thinking of you and sending good wishes your way. My heart goes out to you. I hope you find solace and comfort in the water as you train for and swim Tampa.
  • All of the above seems like great advice. All I have to offer is another voice in support, if that helps. You can do whatever you want to do. In a long swim, there is time for all sorts of feelings, right? I think it was Isaak Dineson who said: "The cure for anything is saltwater - sweat, tears or the sea."
    (I have the same swim cap you do in your photo - it has been lucky for me. Hope it is for you!)
  • JbetleyJbetley UKMember
    I feel for you I really do. Sounds like a crappy time. I have a similar experience right now, and I am finding that throwing myself into training for, and researching, my future ambitions is a wonderful distraction. At a time in your life when certain things feel beyond your control, having something under your control is good. x
  • heartheart San Francisco, CACharter Member
    Thank you all so very much for your kind words. You are all such tough, brave souls, that I hesitated to whine, but was feeling so despondent and anguished that I decided to post something anyway, and I'm very glad I did.

    I'm determined to move forward with the swim. I have a loved one who was planning on coming to Tampa anyway and says he's fine being the sole crew member on the motorboat, and I'm still undecided as to whether the other dude should come too, but will make up my mind finally Monday night. @RonCollins and my local kayaker have been incredibly kind, and my local pool swimmer community has rallied to my support and are swimming my taper workouts with me this week. In addition, a bunch of good friends have embraced my initiative to make my swim a fundraiser for Homeboy Industries (a reentry nonprofit in Los Angeles) and have donated money and offered encouragement. This outpouring of love and support is making a big difference, and I am confident that I can successfully do this.
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